The 7 Secrets of Making Empathy Your Superpower
by Troy Geesaman
When you think about the best product launch, the most memorable ad campaign, your most impactful mentor… what is the one thing they all have in common? They were driven by empathy.
Empathy not only has the power to forge deep connections, like the ones you recalled in thinking back to those memorable examples. It can also make an incredible difference in the problem-solving process. Elevating functional solutions to compelling breakthroughs that not only fix the problem at hand, but also create lasting impact. (And that is a superpower we’re all hoping to possess, isn’t it?)
Throughout our own problem-solving journeys, we’ve unearthed 7 secrets that can help make empathy your superpower. And while each “secret” itself may not be surprising to you, the practice of perfecting all seven is key to creating something truly special—whether it’s a solution to a problem, a memorable campaign or a meaningful relationship.
Secret #1: Be Judgement-Free
Approach people or situations with an open mind and a willingness to understand—even if you don’t agree. Continually check your bias and correct if any unconscious is creeping in to your observations. Practice self-reflection by considering the impact of your own experiences and emotions so that you can better understand others’ perspectives. This can help identify blind spots and become more open-minded and inclusive.
Pro Tip: Being judgment-free creates space, vulnerability, candor and freedom of expression—no matter how divergent the views expressed may seem.
Secret #2: Seat Swap
Imagine swapping positions with another person to see and understand the world from their perspective. Understand the context, challenges and goals of the situation. Consider the factors—internal or external—influencing their feelings, decisions and desired outcomes. By putting yourself in another’s shoes, you can create more inclusive and accessible solutions.
Pro Tip: If possible, walk a few hours in their proverbial shoes, experiencing interactions from their perspective.
Secret #3: Keep Asking About “The Why”
While it’s important to collect the facts of a situation (who, what when, where, how, etc.), it’s the “why” that digs deeper into the emotion, tension or desired outcome. The why focuses on alternatives and decisions, helps you unearth the root causes for feelings or behaviors… both conscious and non-conscious.
Pro Tip: Employ other ways of asking “why?”: What does that change? What does that make possible? What really bothers you about that? Will you share more about that?
Secret #4: Listen with Intent
This secret leverages the art of active listening—the practice of observing what verbal and non-verbal messages are being sent, then providing appropriate feedback for the sake of showing attentiveness to the presented message by asking questions, seeking clarification, and exploring perspectives thoroughly. This active listening process conveys a mutual understanding and respect between speaker and listener.
Pro Tip: Lead and facilitate the dialogue to reach a mutually productive outcome. Listen for paradoxes and contradictions and do not be afraid to challenge when needed.
Secret #5: Communicate Clearly
Express yourself with verbal and non-verbal tactics to forge a true connection. Reinforce what you’ve heard—reweaving it into the questions and conversation. Use language that is inclusive and considerate of others’ feelings. Avoid jargon or technical terms that may alienate others. I heard you, it’s meaningful.
Pro Tip: Be purposeful with your words and body language. Choose expressions like “I hear you” and “what you’re saying is meaningful.” Use one of your most powerful human connectors – a warm, authentic smile.
Secret #6: Be Present, Stay Present
With the onslaught of invasive digital stimulation in our everyday life, it takes determination and focus to stay present throughout an entire interaction with others. Practice consistent eye contact and frequent verbal affirmations to show that you are in the moment and their words matter. Actively watch for subtle cues in body language that hint at underlying emotions that can afford you opportunities to probe deeper.
Pro Tip: Immerse into the mood/vibe of the discussion. Authentically mirror the emotions of the other person, e.g., don’t be afraid to laugh, cry, or shudder with them. Let them see you’re along for the ride whatever it may bring.
Secret #7: Synthesize & Summarize
Identify the core tensions or problems to solve from the dialogue. Recap the conversation to acknowledge and validate the experiences and emotions observed and captured. Take the learning and build it into something actionable to benefit the participant and/or others.
Pro Tip: Anchored in the insight/tension revealed in the dialogue, craft a six-word story that conveys the meaning, tone, and essence of what was discussed.
These 7 secrets, when deployed together, are the key to going beyond surface-level information to reveal insights, tensions and the deeper story that can help you do whatever you do, a little bit better.
After all, as Henry David Thoreau said, “Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”
Interested in learning more about the power of empathy? Check out our article on 5 ways marketers can leverage empathy to elevate brand strategy.
Troy Geesaman is SVP, Strategy at Seed, where, as a natural connector, he brings together ideas and action; learning and context; humanity and leadership.
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